4 years of being Gu-Tze

On this day 4 years ago, my life changed.  My first nephew was born, and I became Gu-Tze.  There is no role in my life that I take more pride in than being Gu-Tze to my 2 amazing nephews.  When Caleb was born, I discovered a depth of love that I had heard about but never realized was actually possible.  He seriously doesn't have to do anything and I love him to an extent that I will spend my life trying to convey to him, but will never fully be able to.

Caleb entered my life in the midst of the darkest season I have ever experienced.  And in the midst of those years, one of the few things that could get me through moments was Caleb.  I had (and still have) pictures of him everywhere, even taped to the dash of my car, to remind me that he- the relationship we have- is worth sticking around for.

My precious, precious Caleb... 4 years ago you stole my heart.  You gave me reason to keep going... and when I felt I couldn't keep going, leaving you was the most horrific thought ever.  




My life is collaged with pictures of you- it's the only way I've found to lessen the pain of you living so far away.  And those couple times a year when we get to be together... Caleb, they are what I look forward to for months prior, and what I reminisce about for months after.  I have yet to find anything that makes me a fraction of as happy as I am when I am with you.  I pray for you constantly- that you will know the deep love I have for you, and that you will know the great God who has given me such love (because there is no way I could have conjured up this love on my own).  You make me proud to be alive.  God has been so gracious to place you in my life, and there are few things I am more grateful for than you.  Thank you for being.  Thank you for 4 years of your presence in my life.  I love you so much.