game-changer people

September 28th, 2013 started with a phone call almost exactly at 6:00am, if I remember correctly.  I didn't answer it the first time- half because I was in a daze, half because I knew the words that would follow as soon as I said, "hey..."  I remember where I was (which is a big deal because I was homeless that year so I often didn't stay in the same place 2 nights in a row)... I remember the simultaneous feelings of an exhale of relief and getting the wind punched right out of my gut.  I remember the tears- the same ones that streak my face now... I remember the questions, the prayers, the planning... the deep, deep pain of loss- for myself, for one of my best friends, for my little buddy, for a family that is as family to me as anyone, for friends I hardly knew...

There are certain people, and I think even more uniquely, certain relationships, that are "game-changers."  It's nearly impossible to explain why the connection you share impacts you so profoundly, but the path of your life looks significantly different than it did before they stepped in.  I can name huge ways that countless people have changed my life- like I've said over and over again, my life is filled with the most amazing people.  And then there are these people that seem to be sent into my journey JUST to point me in a different direction, or give me an energy boost to make it to the next point... I don't know how to explain it, but there are just these people...

That phone call 2 years ago was to tell me that one of these "game-changer people" passed away that night.  I miss Jen so much... she was like... I don't know what she was like... a teacher/role model/coach/cheerleader/sponsor/teammate, or something... she spoke truth about how to live, then lived it, then taught me how to do it, then encouraged me, gave me tools to live it, and was with me in it... All I've got are basketball analogies... suffice it to say she was a "game-changer."

A couple weeks ago I went back and spent a little time retracing the last steps I took with Jen.  It was almost exactly 2 months before that phone call.  I was in town as part of a summer road trip and she asked me to take photos of her and her son... photos that would likely be up at the funeral that was imminent.  That afternoon with the 2 of them is one of the most cherished memories I have- as a friend and as a photographer, and as a human.  He didn't know that his mom wouldn't be there the day he would turn 7 a few months later, but she had a pretty good idea.  So for an hour or so, I tried to give them forever moments.  When I went back to where we took the photos just a couple weeks ago, the sky was ominous.  There was less beauty there than the day we shot those photos.  And yet there was more beauty because that is where we shot those photos... I don't know, I'm rambling.  I'm just really thankful for Jen and I'm thankful for how my life is considerably different because of our relationship.  Maybe today could you pray for her son, her parents, her sister and brother and their families, her friends, everyone that might be missing her a little extra intensely today?

These are some of the photos from that day (posted in Please pray for a legendary friend)

And these are from a couple weeks ago- the same bench they had sat on (which Jen randomly chose, and then saw that it had been dedicated "For Jennifer. Imagine all the people living life in peace.), the same brick wall thing, the same gardens...