Gopher State XXXIX

What could be better than 8,000+ alcoholics together for an entire weekend?

I have no answer for that question.  Gopher State is a highlight of the year for us Minnesotan alcoholics, and this weekend has been just as good as ever.  Great food, phenomenal speakers/messages, amazing fellowship... all because we were given the gift of surrender and God has delighted in working miracles in, around and through us.  There's nothing like it.

I'm pretty fried from the 13 or 14 hours I was there today, after 5 or 6 hours last night, so this will be brief (theoretically).

Most of my AA fellowship comes from my brothers at Christ Recovery Center at the good ol' Union Gospel Mission.  I have been informally and formally adopted into the family that exists through the CRC (I always end up being everybody's little sister, no matter where I go!), and it is an honor to be considered part of that unique family.  The fellowship that happens from that place is unlike anything I have ever seen or experienced.  I love my brothers dearly, and their love for me is invaluable.

Today one of my brothers pulled me aside and said, "You know, I gotta tell you something.  Sometimes the insanity in my head gets to me, and even in the midst of fellowship amongst fellow AA's I can find myself feeling like I don't fit, I don't belong.  But then I see you, and you have this genuine smile and you go out of your way to say hi and give me a hug, and you are excited to see me every time... and it just puts me at ease, and that insanity fades away.  And you need to know that that's not normal, that is truly a gift God has given you."  I responded half-joking and half-serious, "Well you know that is just because we both have similar insanities."  He said, "Maybe so, but there's still just something so special about you."  I don't write this to pat myself on the back or anything like that.  But one of the greatest things AA and the 12 steps offer is the opportunity to be honest with ourselves, the ugly AND the beautiful.  I have learned through this program and the people that surround me in this program that I have worth, I have something to offer, I matter in the lives of other people.  You can ask any of my closest friends- I did not know that two and a half years ago.  And apparently one of the greatest things I have to offer is that I love to make others know that they have worth, they have something to offer, they matter in the lives of other people- myself in particular.  I don't know how I do it, and I don't really do it on purpose most of the time. But like my brother said tonight- it's a gift God has given me.

Maybe I'll share more from the weekend later, but that's all for now.  Just know that if you are reading this right now, whether I know you or not, I promise you- YOU have worth, YOU have something to offer, and YOU matter to people... whether you see it or feel it or not, it is true.