Unemployment stories

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HELLO FROM THE UNDERCLASS: Unemployment Stories, Vol. 32: ‘You Are Slowly Erased From the Lives of Your Friends’

For the twelve million Americans who are officially unemployed, life's problems run much deeper than the fact that their friends may be uncomfortable talking to them about job stuff. Each week, we bring you true stories of unemployment, straight from the unemployed. This is what's happening out there. 

In this economy, there are plenty of stories about people that are unemployed. If you're reading this, you're probably unemployed too. Cause really, we're the only people that listen to each other. 

The second someone finds a job, they quickly forget the tribulations of being unemployed. I remember when I was in high school and my brother was in college. When I would talk to him about my problems, he would shrug them off as trivial. I understood when adult with completely different lives scoffed at my teenage issues, but I was amazed that someone who was just recently stopped being a teenager easily forgot what it's like to be a teenager. 

That's the same dynamic between the unemployed and the employed. It seems like everyone has a solution. "Have you looked at…" or "You should look at…" Believe me, I've tried. I've looked everywhere, I've talked to anyone, I've done everything. I spend my days applying for jobs or networking. I spend my nights hoping I'll never wake up. 

Even worse are the pep talks. "The right thing will come eventually." Really? How do you know that? What indication do you have that would suggest that anything would get better. "Don't get down, employers will see that." Maybe, if they even look at my resume. I just want some to tell me it sucks. 

There is no science to job hunting. I did everything I was supposed to do. I started doing internships my sophomore year of college. I never wasted a summer. In fact, one school year I held down an internship and worked two part time jobs while going to school full time. Then I worked full time at a real job. Then I went to grad school for my Master's. Now I'm back in school for a certificate program because really, I didn't have anything else to do. Because being unemployed for too long makes you look lazy or incompetent. Why is being eager and desperate so easily confused with being lazy? 

So here I am. Eight years of experience, a Master's degree, and an Ivy League school. You'd think I could at least get an entry-level position. You'd think I'd at least be able to make the same amount that I made before I got my Master's. But instead, I've been unemployed for a year and a half. I'm working part-time at an internship that pays minimum wage. I've applied to over two hundred positions. Sometimes I feel like the best thing that I could do is jump in front of a car and have all my organs donated. Maybe then, I would be useful. 

There are plenty of poor decisions I made. The first is going back to school when I already had a job. It wasn't the best job and it didn't pay much, but I was doing something I cared about. I let everyone convince me that I wasn't good enough and that I had to go back to school. Then there were the multitude of unpaid internships. Internships where my supervisors raved about my performance and said they might hire me if something opens up. Well, I've done four unpaid internships, twice a position opened up and I wasn't hired. Unpaid internships, even at nonprofits, are merely ways to extort cheap labor out of desperate students. And then there's living in New York City. In NYC, maybe means no. Possibly means never. I'm not picky about where I live, but I'm currently attending Columbia so I have to live here. A New York City subway runs every four to ten minutes. Every four to ten minutes is an opportunity to kill myself. 

If you're still reading, you have to be wondering what I do. It's sick really, I work in nonprofits. My Bachelor's is in social work, my Master's is in public administration. I always accepted that I would make less than my business school counterparts, but I didn't realize I wouldn't be employed. I didn't realize I wouldn't get the opportunity to help people in need. I didn't realize I would be the person that needs help. 

My advice is that if you have a job, don't go to grad school. It has been the worst decision of my life. And now, it has become my only choice. If you don't have a job, just know you aren't alone. Your friends and family may not sympathize, be we will, even if we are your competition.